Thoughts Stir Emotions, Forcing Actions

This is an e-mail exchange that Bill Rowe had with a brother concerning why sexual lust was being stirred up in him, which we post with his permission.

Dear Bill,

I need help with a struggle with sin in my heart that has been plaguing me since the beginning of my Christian walk. It is the sin of fornication and sexual imaginations in my heart. The Word says no fornicators shall enter the kingdom of heaven and I realize this is something the Lord has to wash completely out of me. I had an addiction to pornography for years before I became a Christian and this was one of the first things the Lord helped me overcome when He first called and drew me 9 months ago. Through the amazing power of the cross and a painful cold turkey battle that lasted several weeks where I could barely get out of bed, God overcame this addiction to pornography. However, I haven't manifestly yet been completely sanctified because often the images come flooding back into my mind, leading to a moment of weakness and sin. Several times, especially during times when the anointing and Spirit of the Lord was strongly upon me, He has removed from me even the desire and nature of it. Sometimes these last for days to weeks. However, when I become double-minded and my heart is not completely set on Him this sin comes back into my life, and though I keep casting down the imaginations it is very persistent like a boxer that keeps on hitting until it finds an opening. This is against the promise because we were washed at the cross of the very nature of sin.

Please advise me how to have faith to put this old man to death once and for all so even the remembrance of this sin is washed. Also, please give me a Word of advice about how to continue to walk strongly in the Lord because my walk has been up and down, sometimes becoming lukewarm and losing desire to read and obey the Word even though I want to, then crying out to God and being drawn back to Him again for a little while. This grieves me because I really want to be close to Him every moment like Jesus was to the Father when He was on earth. From the time He called me, our Lord gave me a heart that considers everything else as rubbish that I may gain Christ. I desire to spend every moment waking or sleeping doing nothing else but being in the Word and prayer, serving the brethren, and being completely obedient to Christ. When the anointing of the Lord is strong upon me, I can't get enough of the Word, easily hear the Holy Spirit, and effortlessly walk in obedience. However, at this point in time I can barely read through a few verses before my mind wanders or I fall asleep, prayer feels like a chore, I get double minded and temptation continually attacks me. It feels like I'm holding on with my mind, but my heart refuses to obey and I lack the strength to stand. I know most of you at UBM have been walking with the Lord for many years, please teach me how so I can endure to the end and be pleasing to our Lord.

God bless you,

XXXX

Brother XXXX,

I heard a testimony by Howard Pittman. A descending aortic aneurysm erupted and he was rushed to the hospital where he died. His testimony is mainly about the time he spent in the spirit in heaven. He talks about the hierarchy of demons that he saw in the hospital while in the spirit. He said the most respected demon was the demon of sexual lust. This demon had the respect of the other demons because of its ability to quickly capture its host and turn thoughts and actions to sexual lust. Our bodies are wired for sex which almost entirely functions in the physical realm. It is our most vulnerable realm and the one most often used by Satan to temp us so we fall into sin. How do we go from temptation to sin? The process is thought, emotion, action. A thought enters into our head. That thought triggers the wiring in our bodies which gives rise to an emotion. The emotion then leads to an action to satisfy the emotion. We don't actually commit a sin until we give our thoughts over to the lustful fantasizing instead of casting them down. {Mt.5:27} Ye have heard that it was said, Thou shalt not commit adultery: {28} but I say unto you, that every one that looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. The next phase is to act in the physical. Up to that point, we have the ability through Jesus Christ, to cast out these evil thoughts before they give rise to an emotion. Even if we are caught off guard and we find ourselves emotionally stimulated, we are still able through Jesus Christ, to overcome those emotions and cast them out of mind and body. It has been my experience we don't enlist the help of Jesus Christ because we would rather feed the flesh and sin than feed the spirit through victory in the blood of Jesus Christ. We can always rationalize reasons to sin: we deserve it, we are unable to overcome the emotional up rise; or, I am entitled to a certain amount of sin as long as I don't cross that line and become a reprobate. None of us deserve to sin. What we deserve is a sinner's judgment. Praise our Father, because we have been convicted of our sin, repented and believe, we can partake of our Father's grace and patience, and be saved through the blood of Jesus Christ. We can't say that the emotional up rise was too much for our flesh to overcome because the word says, "We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us". Do we give into the old man, the flesh and give him what he wants, or do we enlist the help of Jesus Christ, and put to death the flesh and feed the spirit. It is the choice we all have been given to make prior to committing sin. I know for I speak from experience. And, the most dangerous one of the three reasons is I can still play around with sin because I am not a reprobate. Because our Father grants repentance, He can also take away our desire to repent. When that happens, there is no more blood covering and we have lost all hope of salvation. We become a reprobate. When do we cross that line? I don't know and I don't want to find out. Therefore, through prayer, I let it be know to our Father, "Send me all the help necessary to put to death the flesh, so that I can produce the Spirit of Jesus Christ, 30, 60, hundredfold". Our Father knows our ability, He wants to know our desire to be in His will rather than the will of our flesh. How bad do we really want to manifest the Spirit of Jesus Christ, and walk as He walked. Our Father has given us the weapons to do battle in this spiritual realm. The question is, are we willing and do we have the desire to take those weapons and conquer this lustful flesh or would we rather bask in the pleasures of sin for a very short season. We have not for we ask not. When it comes down to it, with the knowledge we have of the scripture, we sin because we would rather give into the flesh, and partake of the desires thereof.

Be Blessed,

Bill

Dear Bill,

Thanks for getting straight to the root of the problem. That morning after I wrote to you about the struggle I was having, David spoke about the exact thing I was facing on UBBS. Then I received your e-mail which pointed out the issue, that I was deciding to feed the flesh instead of the spirit and justifying myself. These words went straight to my heart and I understood it was our Lord's way of leaving me no excuse. Thanks to God I repented immediately and was instantly washed and overcame. I haven't had the problem since. The Lord is just waiting for us to serve Him with all our heart.

XXXX

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